I'm not sure you noticed, but you're looking at the latest Editor-in-Chief of the Middle School Newspaper, recently renamed the Blue & Gold Gazette by my devoted underlings. Our latest issue will feature an expose on old lockers, a food review, and other hard-nosed journalism. I suddenly feel like sporting a moustache and wedging a cigar between my teeth. "You call this photography? Get out of my sight. And bring me Peter Parker."