Tuesday, 10 May 2011

The Life and Times of Griffin

Though I know Griffin personally, I had not yet had the opportunity to sit down with this budding young author and talk at length with him. Therefore, he was kind enough to grant me his first tell-all interview, anticipating the release of his upcoming book and consequent fame by several years. 

Griffin "the Beast" Jackson
What's your full name?

Griffin Paul Jackson

Are you named after anyone in your family?

Believe it or not, I am not named after anyone in my family. The rest of my family has fairly normal names, mostly of the Dutch or English variety. My parents claim that they “just liked ‘Griffin’.” That was fortuitous, because the other possible names were Oliver and Stuart. Needless to say, Griffin suits me better.

 Where were you born?

They tell me I was born in Grand Rapids, MI. However, based on my own research and twenty-one years of hunches, I’d say it’s most likely that I was born on the steep side of the broadest mountain on the rockiest crag. There, in the shadow of the tallest peak and with rain like arrows firing down upon me, I took my first breath of this mortal air. 

When were you told that you were half a mythological beast?

At a very young age I realized that I had a pretty substantial wingspan and talons; those were the first signs. Pretty soon, my parents had to let me in on the little secret, which gradually became a much bigger secret. I won’t say it was really a surprise. I always suspected something mythic.

Can you transform into a griffin at will?

Yes, I can. But, that doesn’t mean I transform whenever I want or whenever I am asked. It’s a dangerous responsibility. I must employ it wisely.

Is there any specific point in time where you haven't been able to control your transformation?

I’ve become pretty good at controlling my transformations. It’s not like a werewolf thing where it happens at certain times of the day or in certain seasons. However, when I was younger, I struggle somewhat morphing into a griffin and then morphing back out. At one point, I was in my transformed state for thirteen days because I couldn’t turn myself back. Now, though, I’ve discovered it’s all a matter of will power and focus, as are most things in life.

Griffin in full-fledged, full-feathered glory

What's your favorite way to spend the day? Hobbies? Talents? No need to be modest. Feel free to brag. 

I love to fly free over the low hills of Michigan, finding a tired tree in which to nest and write life. Griffins are known for their gift of story-telling, you know. Also, I enjoy tennis and skiing (eagle wings are of great assistance in both) and using my talons to carve words into rock.

I have come to understand that you are related to Percy Jackson, the son of Poseidon. How are you guys related? And do superpowers run in your family?

We’re actually pretty close. He is my first cousin on my father’s side. We see each other a few times a year at family reunions and around holidays. We’re both busy though, with him fighting the forces of evil and me keeping watch over southwest Michigan. My parents and siblings are far too modest to admit that they, too, have been blessed (or cursed) with super powers. But, let us be clear, they definitely possess unique and sometimes mythical skills. Most notably, my younger brother can breathe fire when he wants and my sister can swim for leagues without coming up for air. Also, my mother and father can both fly, which was always convenient on family vacations. I’m not sure that my older brother has a super power, per se, but he was born with a sword called “Albacore,” which is just as good.

For all those people out there who aspire to be a mythological beast, what advice would you give them?

First of all, choose a beast that only has one head. I know one girl who changed into a hydra, and she was so disturbed at having her brain and vision spread out over a dozen different heads that she went crazy and is now stuck in a state of mythological insanity. Secondly, use it wisely. I used to fly around and use my powers for fun and, sometimes, for reasons of entertainment. Don’t make the same mistake I did. And thirdly, never stay transformed for too long. Always remember who you are: a human. If you stay too long in your mythical form, it becomes you, and you lose your humanity forever.

Further details regarding fan mail and Griffin's book will be provided upon request.


Elaine said...

I'd like to request information on Griffin's upcoming book.

also: this was hilarious.

jenica.marie said...

Elaine obviously has the capacity--some might say even mythical capacity--of telephany (whether mythical or not is the subject of much debate among scholars these days). Nonetheless, Elaine you've taken the works write off the tips of my keyboard-typing fingers. I, too, am just dying with anticipation to receive information about Griffin's upcoming book.

"also: this was hilarious" (Elaine 2011)*

*yes. blogs uses Chicago style intext citations

Nard said...

ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto. that sums my thoughts up succinctly as well. my professors are so proud of me.

Natalie Moore said...

I'm just gonna say I feel sorry for whoever poor soul you coerced into letting you use their photo...

S.L. Gabriel said...

I will have you know, Natalie, that Griffin Jackson participated in the interview all on his own. I just asked the questions. He provided the answers.